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It’s Up to Me and The Creator

14 Aug

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Looking at my AquaSwiss its about that time, time for my 6 month check up. Well on Tuesday, I went to get a sonogram of my uterus to check things out in the Kitty Cat post treatment. Well I am on this drug daily to keep my estrogen levels down. I don’t want to name names yet, and low and behold, I now have ovarian Cysts. Also the lining of my uterus is thickening, no bueno!

Well after a quick google search, According the the Journal of Clinical Oncology, Oct 2005, there is an article on Ovarian Cysts formation in patients using Tomoxifen for treatment of breast cancer.

Conclusion of Study:
In patients using tamoxifen for breast cancer treatment and prevention, Patients still having a menstral cycle during tamoxifen use had high risk, (58.33%) of developing ovarian cysts. Pts also at risk for developing endometrial carcinoma and ovarian cancer.

Somebody please help me to understand that after a half million dollars in treatment, (and still counting), I have and am at risk for these other disease states.

I am taking matters into my own hands. It is up to me and the creator when its my time. I am not going to spend another second being worried or scared. I have been worried and scared my whole life. Scared there would not be enough to eat when I was younger, scared of not being smart enough, pretty enough, successful enough. I have been scared of losing my job, scared the cancer would come back, and that is just way too much scared for one person. I am not scared anymore!!!!!

Have to go now, time to go and enjoy my life.

Just did number 9 everything will be fine

22 Jun

I just finished my 9th treatment.  yeah girl.  Image

Chemo#4

15 May

A Third of the way done.  Thanks for the company Bunnie!Image

A good friend told me….

11 May

You need people in your life who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.  Goodbye stressies, hello besties!

On People

30 Mar

Show me who you are when you think I am weak.  Thank you for the insight.  I will show you exactly who I am….I have always been me.  

On Family

29 Mar

Sometimes family just won’t be there in the way that you would like. Thank goodness I can redefine family.  It doesn’t have to be the people I am biologically connected to. 

Surgery Number Three

28 Mar

So this morning I had surgery number three.  It was the third surgery to remove the DCIS tissue found in the fourth margin that did not come back clear.  The doctor told me that the affected tissue was microscopic, but she wanted to do all that she could to remove anything that could possibly Metastasis.  I will also be undergoing chemo and radiation over the next 6-8 months.  

I hope I don’t have a horrible scar, but they say that “Third time is a charm.”

Hopefully it won’t be to bad considering that I am at high risk for keloids.  

I try to stay positive.  I won’t let this break me.  I think that I have read or watched every self help video or book.  You know the types of books that say that the mind can will the body back to health.  This one video told me to walk around with a gratitude rock, and that I should rub it to remember all the things that I am thankful for;  That I should rub it to thank the universe for my healing.  I have been rubbing the rock…..ImageImageImage