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Getting Back to Healthy

21 Jan

Good news.  I got my blood levels back from my internal medicine doctor.  Everything came back within normal range.  No more vitamin D or B deficiencies.  Thats a good thing because those deficiencies help to create an environment for cancer cells to grow.  White and red blood cell counts are within range.  I have even lowered my cholesterol.  

I am so happy because there was a period where I was very weak and could not get out off the couch.  I bought a hammock for camping for the summer as a Christmas present.  It comes with a stand so I set it up in my apartment.  I was literally so weak and sick from the radiation and the chemo that I laid in that hammock from Christmas Eve until, well to be honest this weekend.  

I spoke with my oncologist and she said that feeling this way was normal.  That sometimes it could take up to a year for your body to bounce back.  Although I had this knowledge, I still felt, “what if it’s coming back, what if it’s coming back.”

It is so nice to hear that I am healthy.  

Guess those green smoothies are helping.  On my way to the gym now.  Hope everyone has a blessed day! 


My last day of Treatment

4 Oct



Well everybody, I did it.  Thursday, October 3rd 2013 was my las day of radiation treatment.  It has been a long year.  There were times I thought I would suffocate in that x-ray room, but I didn’t.  Each time I came out stronger.  Now the real work begins.  I have to exercise on a regular basis.  Drink only on special occasions, and try to eat really healthy.  And goodbye stress.  I guess that means I have to sign up for Bikram Yoga.  Thank you Rich, Carla, Phina, Stacy, Ilaria, Jeff and Veleniss for helping me get to and get through the appointments.  Thank you Aurify Brands for donating the lunch on my last day of chemo.  Thanks Billy, Jean, Phyllis, and Zahir for your consistent phone support.  Thank you to my Breast Cancer Community.   Please continue to follow me on my journey to remaining cancer free.  

Radiation Therapy, A Therapist, and a diet????????

25 Sep

Well my week started off rocky.  Monday I had my radiation therapy.  I was just done.  Didn’t want to get on that gurney and be lifted up into the air anymore.  I was also told that  that on Thursday, meaning tomorrow I needed to be prepared to be on the gurney for about 20 minutes or more.  The reason was because they had to reconfigure the machine so that the radiation would just be treating the incision site.

Now I don’t like being on the machine for 2 minutes let alone 20.  The technician suggested that I speak to the nurse to get some aid in the form of a pharmaceutical nature.  Something to decrease the anxiety.  My drug of choice, Valium.  Relax everyone.  They only gave me two.

After getting my “gold,” to help me through the reconfiguration process, I figured there was no time to the present to see the therapist.  As I was nearing the end of radiation, I found people, including my boyfriend saying things like, “you are almost done or, One week to go.”

I know that people mean well and they want to keep me in good spirits, but the thing is I am never done.

The fact of the matter is I have to take Herceptin for another 7 months via IV once every three weeks.  I have to take Tamoxifin, once daily, (which can cause weight gain) for the next 10 years.

To top it all off I was told by my doctor that I have gained a significant amount of weight, (AKA I am fat) and I need to go on a diet.  Pizza, out, fried chicken out, root beer floats forget about it.  Basically all of the things that I became addicted to from taking the steroids – I could no longer have…. if I wanted to “decrease my chances for reoccurrence.”

She told me to have apples and vegetables as if that is the same thing as a slice of hot cheesey gooey pizza.  I have to go now the doctor is calling me, anyone who thinks that an apple tastes the same as a bag of Lays potato chips is lying.

To be continued…….


20 Sep

Thank goodness its Friday.  Then I get two days off from radiation treatment.  I drove into manhattan today from Brooklyn because the drive is 15 minutes with no traffic versus 1 hour on the subway.  I waited on line for a half hour to get the hospital parking which is $18.00 for the whole day versus $20 dollars an hour.  The treatments are running behind again today.  Now it looks like I am going to miss my gym class, “Awareness Through Movement.”

Guess my work out will consist of the treadmill and a couple of squats.  What can you do?

P.S.  I am so freakin hungry.  But i really want to lose this belly so I will have to have a salad for lunch instead of a nice slice of New York City pizza.  Who will win the race, healthy or hearty?  Will keep you posted.  Have a great weekend.

At first I thought…..

18 Sep

It is a terrible thing to have to go to your treatments alone.  But as I look up from typing, I see an 11 year old boy going in for treatment.  That’s enough to straighten my whiny ass out.  They are backed up today so there are about 50 friends and family members sitting in the reception area waiting for their loved ones to come out of treatment.  Although I am physically by myself, I look at them as my cancer family.  So I am not alone.  They may not be my blood family, but they are all that I have for now.

I had a boyfriend but things are a little rocky right now.

See that is the problem when you settle for a boyfriend instead of a husband.  It is a lot easier to walk away when the going gets tough.  Well maybe not, but anyways my cancer family is here with me.

The one problem that I see for today is that I took out some meat from the freezer to cook for dinner and the meat will probably spoil.  Whatever, so much for eating healthy tonight.  I can’t worry about it.

I started talking with this mom next to me and her daughter was in the back getting treatment.  The daughter has stage 4 cancer and is only in her 20’s.

I bet she would give anything to switch places with me.  So I am not afraid.  I will go in the room with the machine and take my treatment like a trooper.

11 More radiation treatments to go.

17 Sep

Today was a doozy.  I was not feelin being lifted in the air on that machine.  I almost couldn’t hold my breath.  But I got through it.  One day at a time.  I think that I will buy myself some flowers today.  they always cheer me up.

What do you do?

17 Sep

What do you do when everyone’s lives go back to normal but your’s is forever changed?

What do you do when people are not there for you in the way that you would be there for them if their life was touched by cancer?

What do you do when everyone else gets to smoke and drink and eat whatever they want but you know that you shouldn’t because you have to make drastic changes to keep the cancer from coming back?

What do you do when you receive a bill for $3000.00 and you don’t have a job?

What do you do when you have to go to the doctor alone every day and you are terrified and quite frankly just don’t feel like going anymore?

I am just asking.