It’s Up to Me and The Creator

14 Aug

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Looking at my AquaSwiss its about that time, time for my 6 month check up. Well on Tuesday, I went to get a sonogram of my uterus to check things out in the Kitty Cat post treatment. Well I am on this drug daily to keep my estrogen levels down. I don’t want to name names yet, and low and behold, I now have ovarian Cysts. Also the lining of my uterus is thickening, no bueno!

Well after a quick google search, According the the Journal of Clinical Oncology, Oct 2005, there is an article on Ovarian Cysts formation in patients using Tomoxifen for treatment of breast cancer.

Conclusion of Study:
In patients using tamoxifen for breast cancer treatment and prevention, Patients still having a menstral cycle during tamoxifen use had high risk, (58.33%) of developing ovarian cysts. Pts also at risk for developing endometrial carcinoma and ovarian cancer.

Somebody please help me to understand that after a half million dollars in treatment, (and still counting), I have and am at risk for these other disease states.

I am taking matters into my own hands. It is up to me and the creator when its my time. I am not going to spend another second being worried or scared. I have been worried and scared my whole life. Scared there would not be enough to eat when I was younger, scared of not being smart enough, pretty enough, successful enough. I have been scared of losing my job, scared the cancer would come back, and that is just way too much scared for one person. I am not scared anymore!!!!!

Have to go now, time to go and enjoy my life.

Brazil

22 Jun

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First and foremost I would like to say thank you to the universe for allowing me to take such a beautiful trip.  After completing treatment, (which took a year and a half in total), I knew that a part of my healing would be to take a journey someplace where I could reflect, reinvent, forgive, release resentment, grow, learn, and experience something completely different from what had come to be my norm.  

Reflections:  I looked back at my life.  Although I can’t change my past, I can certainly redefine my future based on my experiences.  From the people of Brazil, I learned that happiness is a choice.  You can have it everyday in something as simple as watching a sunset.  

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That no matter what your station in life, there should be pride in what you do, and you should love what you are doing.  More on this later.  

Reinvent:  I lost my job during the middle of my chemo treatment.  At first I could not feel anything because I was so focused on the treatment process I didn’t have time to think about anything else.  Now I realize it was just one career.  I can have as many as I choose.  My job doesn’t define me, I define me.  

Release Resentment:  Let go of anything that leaves you saying, “that’s not fair, why me?  Why not me?”

Resentment leaves you stuck in the past.  It is negative energy.  As far as I know, in this life form, “YOLO.”  I haven’t met anyone who has come back from the other side.  So for the rest of this life that I am living, it is all about positive energy.

Forgiveness:  The dictionary defines forgiveness as the following.  It goes hand in hand with releasing resentment.  

: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)

: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)

: to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)

If there is someone or something that you need to forgive in your life do it immediately.  Take a trip, write it down on a piece of paper and burn it, burn some sage.  What ever your belief system is find a way to forgive.  I never forgot when Oprah said, “I walked around for years mad at this person.  One day I saw the person across the street and the person was coming out of a high end department store happy as a lark.  The person certainly didn’t seem to be bothered about the same thing that I was bothered about.  That’s when I knew I had to let it go.”

My primary goal in life is to stay happy, share my journey, inspire others, and complete my life’s mission.  I have forgiven, so that I can get on with the business of living.  

Grow and Learn:  This year I plan to learn another language and to learn how to surf.  I am starting with Portuguese.  If you do not grow as a person and learn new things your life can seem like you are on a hamster wheel.

“Bom Dia meus amigos”

Experience something completely different from the norm:  If you have gone through or are going through something like I did.  Shake it up a bit as soon as you can.  I never thought I would be able to sit on a plane for 15 hours and then take a 5 hour drive through dunes to go on a vacation.  But I did it.  With the help of my friend and the support of my fiancé and family of course.  “Ain’t it fun living in the real world!”  “La Dolce Vita!”  You know who you are.  Thank you for an amazing trip and a life changing experience.

Oh I also met people from all over the world who traveled thousand of miles to come to Brazil to watch the world cup.  It was so nice meeting all of you.  I am routing for Brazil and the United States.  But I also like GHA and Germany.

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Have a beautiful day. Live a life that is inspirational and inspiring.  

 

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Brazil

22 Jun

Brazil

So delicious and full of vitamin c.

What Has The CancerFreeCutie Been Up To?

29 May

Hello everyone.  I hope you all are having a terrific Thursday.  Sorry I have been gone so long but I have been busy.  Busy building a blueprint for the next chapter of my life.  I have some good news.  I have passed the first exam for getting my real estate license.  I was so happy because it was the first goal that I set for myself since this whole ordeal began.  

Also, I am heading to Jericoacoara Brazil.  Super excited, it is a present to myself.  I am going to relax, reflect and rejuvenate.  

I hope everyone is doing well.  Will be in touch.  Live in the moment, love life, and love each other.

Dymelle Marie,

The CancerFreeCutie

I got to ring my bell.

1 Apr

Yesterday I had my last infusion treatment.  At first I was upset because after a year and a half of surgeries, chemo, radiation, and her-2 antibody infusions, I realized that my journey is just beginning.  My oncologist is insisting that I take a pill called tamoxifen once daily for the next 10 years.  It is upsetting because it is an everyday reminder of everything that I have been through. With my pharmaceutical background I entered the doctor’s office armed with a very highlighted Package Insert of the drug.  We went over every possible side effect the percentages of getting those side effects and what it would mean for me mentally, physically, and emotionally to keep taking this drug.  

She stated that the biggest chance of reoccurrence happens within the first 2 to three years.  Then after 5 years there is another peak period in which it could come back so that is why I would have to take the drug for 10 years.  Then after the 10 years or when I am post menopausal, I would have to go on another drug to continue the inhibition of my estrogen receptors.  

The purpose of doing this is to reduce as much as possible the chance of the cancer coming back, specifically into one of my organs, which would be considered stage 4 cancer.  

I then had to head upstairs to get my last her-2 antibody infusion.  I had a new nurse for my last infusion treatment.  I consider her my angel.  I was feeling a little down from my conversation with the oncologist.  This nurse came from a cancer center in Texas.  She said that every time someone finished treatment they would ring a bell.  Some patients never got to ring it because they were not going to get better.

All of a sudden I became very thankful.  It was a huge accomplishment to get through treatment.  Its pretty major that I am now considered cancer free.  I may have some challenges moving forward from side effects, but it certainly beats the alternative.  I now feel invigorated, motivated and inspired to face the world and truly appreciate life’s beauty.  

I am ringing my bell, now only for myself, but for all those that couldn’t.

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me and helped me on my journey to becoming a Cancer Free Cutie.   

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Exercise and Eating Healthy

11 Feb

So I am finally able to get out of bed and start trying to get my life back to normal.  I only have 3 treatments of perception left.  I get infused once every three weeks and can’t wait for the final poke. As a result of treatment, I have gained 30 pounds.  Now I am working on not necessarily loosing all of the weight but making sure that I exercise, and eat as healthy as possible.  I make my green smoothies to keep my blood rich with cancer fighting nutrients.  I am also working on recipes which use as many alkaline foods as possible.  Now that I have taken the scientific approach to ridding my body of cancer.  I am using the holistic approach to get myself healthy.  

I started off my day yesterday by trying to exercise.  It was discouraging even trying to find something to wear to the gym because nothing fit.  Finally I found something. I take a quick subway ride to my beloved equinox in downtown Brooklyn.  I took a class called Tabata. And yes, It was as difficult to do as it is to pronounce.  I though I was going to either throw up or drop dead  of a heart attack.  I started fighting back the tears and focused on finishing the high intensity workout.  After the class I bumped into the instructor in the equipment room.  “I said sorry for not keeping up with the class, I am not lazy, I had cancer and my body is not the same.  It is going to take me a while to get everything functioning the way it used to.”  He was so nice.  Asked me to give him a hug.  And said he looked forward to seeing me next week.  He told me not to give up.

So I leave the gym inspired walking past the Shake Shack., (a famous shake and burger joint).  Instead of concentrating on those delicious smelling burgers, I decided what alkaline food could I make from all of the wonderful veggies in my fridge.  

I decided on a Leek and Cauliflower soup inspired by the great Chef Franklin Becker.  He does this soup at his restaurant, “The Little Beet.”  It is absolutely delicious creamy and you don have to use milk.  Hope you enjoy this recipe.  Thanks for the inspiration Franklin

Leek and Cauliflower Soup

Tablespoon and a half of Olive Oil

2 Leeks

Half of Large Spanish Onion

2 cloves of garlic minced

1 Head of Cauliflower

3 sprigs of Tyme 

A quarter Lemon.  

Add olive oil to very large Frying pan or soup pot.  Sautee onions add a little salt to keep onions from Browning.  Add leeks cook till almost tender then add garlic, cook until fragrant but make sure not to burn the garlic.  then add cauliflower, give it a couple of stirs then add a box of vegetable stock.  Add the three sprigs of tyme cover pot and cook until cauliflower is tender.  Fork should go through very easily.  When done to your texture and thickness, remove tyme stems and let cool a little.  Then just throw in a blender squeeze a couple of drops fresh squeezed quarter lemon, puree and you will have the most delicious soup ever without feeling like you are on a diet.  

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Getting Back to Healthy

21 Jan

Good news.  I got my blood levels back from my internal medicine doctor.  Everything came back within normal range.  No more vitamin D or B deficiencies.  Thats a good thing because those deficiencies help to create an environment for cancer cells to grow.  White and red blood cell counts are within range.  I have even lowered my cholesterol.  

I am so happy because there was a period where I was very weak and could not get out off the couch.  I bought a hammock for camping for the summer as a Christmas present.  It comes with a stand so I set it up in my apartment.  I was literally so weak and sick from the radiation and the chemo that I laid in that hammock from Christmas Eve until, well to be honest this weekend.  

I spoke with my oncologist and she said that feeling this way was normal.  That sometimes it could take up to a year for your body to bounce back.  Although I had this knowledge, I still felt, “what if it’s coming back, what if it’s coming back.”

It is so nice to hear that I am healthy.  

Guess those green smoothies are helping.  On my way to the gym now.  Hope everyone has a blessed day! 

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